Funny Poems

                                               I Hate Slugs                                 22/12/2014


Pulling up weeds in the border hard work

Finding the places where slugs like to lurk

All of a sudden a squelch then a squeal

When all of a sudden a big slug you feel


They seek out the places where others don’t go

Down by plant roots in the garden so low

All different sizes humungous to small

Under the copings on front garden wall


Slugs always find lettuce and other choice plants

Disliked by my wife as she raves and she rants

I had some fine lupin’s they stripped all the green

Just skeletons left of each leaf to be seen


I welcome all frogs and I welcome all toads

They like juicy slugs and our garden has loads

The blackbirds seem partial but much prefer snails

All eaten with relish whilst wagging their tails


Now inside my water butt under the lid

Another great place where I find slugs are hid

But how do they get there a mystery for sure

It feels like an illness no sign of cure


Slugs under shed base surrounding the pond

You may have now gathered I’m not very fond

Some nice garden creatures and many such bugs

But I really must say that I hate garden slugs


Our Cat


Our cat has got whiskers

With emerald green eyes

He doesn’t like cat food

But does like meat pies


He once chased a sparrow

Got stuck up a tree

It took fifteen hours

To get him down free


We found him one day

With his head in a tin

Our curious cat

On a search through our bin


He likes keeping clean

Always licking his paws

With white socks on black

Showing very sharp claws


Our cat likes the budgie

He meows with each tweet

Then he stares at the cage

But I’m sure he sees meat


He’s ever so friendly

My wife says he’s cute

But I’m not so sure

With cat hair on my suit