Limericks Adult
Big Feller
Velocity felled the great giant
He stood looking very defiant
Till up came a lad
A slingshot he had
Now the giant is more than compliant
Came a Cropper
The day that a young Alan Cropper
Took his first ever flight in a chopper
His excitement was high
As they soared through the sky
Till the pilot said he couldn’t stop her
Sentenced in Lieu
The judge put it down to depravity
And sentenced the gang with less gravity
What’s he doing oh dear
It’s hard to think clear
When you’re stuck upside down in the lavatory
Love Lost
The day that I offered my heart
You refused and my world fell apart
When I said what I felt
With a ring as I knelt
You said we both need a fresh start
Surry Curry
With cinnamon, garlic and curry
That went in the pan in a hurry
Hot chillies came fast
Before the great blast
Now dinner is way down in Surrey
Cook Book
I decided to write my first book
Cooking food and the time that it took
I tried cooking with care
But my steaks all came rare
And my custards all burnt and got stuck
No Bones About it
A tale of a lad Jimmy Mullet
Who got a bone stuck down his gullet
He tried hard to dodge it
But couldn’t dislodge it
Till a doctor decided to pull it
Don’t fall Asleep
An old retired dentist from Leith
Could not resist pulling out teeth
His wife when asleep
One eye open would keep
For safety's sake was her belief